The Gay Game
by snowflake98
Summary: It was fun to label all the guys they saw on the streets. Even more so when they had something to judge them by. HidaItaDei, or just ItaDei


"Gay."

"Bi."

"Straight, un."

"Fucking gay."

"That guy's straight."

"No, he's gay."

"No, he's straight, un... but that one's definitely gay."

"Damn straight."

The two break into laughter over the pun. Itachi rolls his eyes at them, licking away a drop of melted popsicle rolling down his wrist. "You know, there can't be that many gay guys walking the streets today," he says.

"There is. Un," Deidara replies. He taps Hidan on the shoulder, pointing to someone and declaring, "Gay." Hidan laughs. "Yeah, shove it, Itachi. No guy can look at another fucking guy eating a popsicle like _that _and be straight. The guys with the girlfriends are just fucking bi. Blondie, that one's bi."

"Yeah, un. What do you think about him, though? Too many girls to be straight?" Hidan snorts. "Hell yeah. You saw that glint in his eye," he teases, glancing at Itachi. "He fucking wants you, man."

Itachi grunts, wiping away a bead of sweat on his forehead and adjusting himself on the curb. The cement behind him is burning. "I still don't get what kind of thrill you get out of that."

"I don't know, un. I just think it's fun, cuz a lot of them out there act seriously gay."

"You're one to talk, Deidara."

Hidan cuts in, silencing Deidara's angry retort by talking above him. "They're just not being fucking true to themselves. We should help'em out, boys."

"And how would we do that, un?"

"By helping'em come out of the closet. You two should kiss."

"What the hell?" Itachi and Deidara respond simultaneously, making them look at each other weird. Itachi licks his popsicle again, it's really melting in the heat now. "How would that help them?" he asks, annoyed and slightly disturbed.

"Whichever ones stare are fucking gay. C'mon."

Deidara crosses his arms before snapping his popsicle stick in half. "That would draw more girls than boys," he says. Itachi nods, agreeing. "Besides, people would just think Deidara was a girl."

Deidara looks down. "Probably, un. But I'm a flat chest." He places his hand on his chest, frowning.

"Hey, if you fucking weren't, you'd have guys jumping you every fucking corner, man," Hidan automatically says, shrugging. "But, seriously, you two should still kiss."

Itachi twitches. "Why us? Why not you and Dei?" he asks. Hidan shrugs, pointing out another gay guy to Deidara. "Because, if I'da suggested that, it woulda been fucking weird. So do it. I'll give ya ten fucking bucks each."

The raven looks to his side as Deidara curses. He knows the blonde needed that money- he had to pay off a loan from his friend that certainly wasn't getting any smaller. Itachi sighs. "Make it fifteen. I'll do it." Deidara turns bright red, but Itachi ignores it, licking his melting popsicle.

Hidan pouts. "Fucking fine, then. Fifteen goddamn dollars. On the mouth, assholes."

It reaches Itachi to wonder why Hidan is so insistent about it, but before he says anything he finds himself reaching over to the blonde on the other side of Hidan. Deidara pales, before sighing and leaning in. Their lips meet lightly.

"Gay. Gay. Definitely gay. Bi. Straight... no, gay. Bi."

Hidan begins to point out people randomly, labeling them rapid-fire.

When he looks back the two have stopped kissing. Deidara has a blush across his face, but they both have their hands stretched out to him. Hidan grins like an idiot, taking out his wallet and placing a ten and a five in each of their hands.

He stalls for a second, looking at each of them after putting the money in their hands. He points to Deidara. "Bi," he points to Itachi, "and gay." He turns around smugly.

Itachi sets the money on the cement next to him before delivering a swift push to the back of Hidan's head, making his head go between his legs. He glares at Deidara when he feels the blonde's hand on his. They both pull away, Deidara blushing again.

Itachi licks his popsicle. "Trans," he says, annoyed. Hidan whines, rubbing his head as he feels Itachi and Deidara's fingers meet on the cement behind him.


End file.
